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Monday, 07 December 2009

  • If I controlled the internet

    If I ran the internet

    If I controlled the internet?
    You could auction your broken heart on Ebay
    Take the money, go to Amazon,
    Buy a phonebook for a country you’ve never been to
    Call folks at random until you find someone
    who flirts really well in a foreign language

    If I were in charge of the internet
    You could Mapquest your lover’s moodswings
    Hang left at cranky
    Right at preoccupied
    U turn on silent treatment
    All the way back to tongue kissing and good lovin’
    You could navigate and understand every emotional intersection
    Some days I’m as shallow as a backing pan
    But I still stretch miles in all directions

    If I own the internet
    Napster Monster and Friendster-dot-com would be one big website
    That way you could listen to cool music while you pretend to look for a job
    and you’re really just chatting with your palls,

    Heck if I ran the web
    You could email dead people
    They would not email you back
    But you’d get an automated reply
    Their name in your inbox
    It’s all you wanted anyway
    And a message saying: ‘Hey, it’s me. I miss you.’
    Listen you’ll see, being dead is dandy.

    Now you go back to raising kids
    And waging peace
    And craving candy

    If I designed the internet
    Childhood-dot-com would be a loop
    Of a boy
    In an orchard
    With a ski pole for a sword
    Trashcan lid for a shield, shouting
    ‘I am the emperor of oranges’
    ‘I am the emperor of oranges’
    ‘I am the emperor of oranges’
    Now follow me OK

    Grandma-dot-com would be a recipe for biscuits and spit bath instructions 1-2-3
    That links with hot-diggity-dog-dot-com, that is my grandfather
    They take you to gruff-ex-cop-on-his-fourth-marriage-dot-dad
    He forms an attachment to kind-a-ditsy-but-still-sends-ginger-snatch-for-Christmas-dot-mom who
    Downloads the boy in the orchard, the emperor of oranges who grows up to be

    Me,
    The guy who usually goes too far, so

    If I were the emperor of the internet
    I guess I’d still be mortal, huh?
    But at that point I would probably already have
    The lowest possible mortgage and the most enlarged possible penis, so
    I would outlaw spam on my first day in office
    I wouldn’t need it.
    I’d be like some kind of internet genius.
    And me,
    I’d like to upgrade to deity and maybe
    Just like that

    (p-o-p)

    I’d go wireless.

    Huh.

    Maybe google would hire this
    So I could zip through your servers and firewalls like a virus
    Until the worldwideweb is as wise as wild and as organised
    As I think a modern day miracle-slash-oracle can get, but
    Oooooooooo, you wanna bet just how whack and un-p.c. your Mac or PC's gonna be when I'm rockin'

    hot-shit-hotshot-God-dot-net?

    I guess it’s just like life

    It’s not a question of if you can
    Its, ‘Do ya?’
    We can interfere with the interface
    We can make you god hallelujah the national anthem of cyberspace every lucky time we logon
    You don’t say a prayer
    You don’t write a song
    You don’t chant an ooooohm

    You send one blessed email to
    Whoever you’re thinking of
    At
    Dadeladatatatatatatadadeladedadeladedatatam-dot-com

Wednesday, 21 October 2009

  • Marching Band

    Marching season will come to a close this weekend and it has been an utter disapointment, the people in the guard rarely show up to practice so we are always behind then they bitch and moan about how we are not together in the show.. The work is not even that hard but half of the line cant do it, not for lack of ability but for just not giving a damn. I will be so happy when this is over and winterguard season starts, but for now I am angry and dont even want to spin anymore X_x.  I am so done with guard right now I want to drop out of Black Gold and not go to world championships this year because I am just not having fun like I used to.


Wednesday, 23 September 2009

  • HI!

    Ok so I am now settled in at UTA and having a blast. I got to preform with the Marching Band at the Dallas Cowboys game and it pwned! I had a blast ! I am missing all of my Houston friends and family (college station too :P) though, but my mom will be driving up this weekend to watch me play Ooze ball . Playing volleyball in knee deep mud! I cant wait!

    So Monday I was at band practice and all the sudden this siren went off and the band director yelled get inside now!! and then like half the band went running up into the stadium. The first thing I thought was oh shit it is a tornado, and started panicking, but it was not a tornado but the siren was part of a piece of equipment that detects lightning...
    We were (the people who were not from the Arlington area) so embarrassed. . .

    well I will type more later but I have to go to class
    ~Autumn

Thursday, 11 June 2009

  • the candice and autumn extravaganza

    Monday: The beginning  Dun Dun Dun  . . . . .
    I had a blast monday I jumped in the exploder and drove to Candice's house. When I arrived we went to her family's deer farm where we chased deer and walked A LOT! I had loads of fun looking around and having my own personal safari. Then we had some amazing Mexican food for lunch. When we got back to the house we geeked out by watching Candice's old twirling videos where I tried my best to not look at their guard (my eyes would start bleeding if I did!) Then we went outside and I spun and she twirled all in all an absolute blast!!! Then we drove to CS and crashed at her house.

    Tuesday: where autumn looks like a freshman
    Ok so we depart CS at 6 am X_X and drive to UTA ^_^ !!!! We arrive on campus and park in the parking garage, we are a little early and we walked around looking at random buildings, by now I am completely and totally hyper and excited! Then I go to the advisor's office but cant seem to find it so i ask for directions (totally embarrassed and we both get asked if we are fish), then we find it and i am very nervous I get all of my stuff done there and my adviser in her infinite wisdom gives me a map ! We walk out of the building and I am holding my awesome new map of campus and we have to go to the band hall so I find it on the map then turn around till the buildings line up with the ones on the paper (which made Candice laugh saying that i reminded her of the fish at A&M). We get to the Band Hall and the dude I have to talk to is not even there, but I got his contact info so it was not a complete waste of time!! Then we went to get my school id which i found out I could not get until i registered for classes :( .

    Then we left and got lunch and decided to hunt down the mythical Dallas fabric district. For some reason only my tom tom would find the shop but it was being wonky so we had Candice's up too. We went to the shop and found some awesome buttons!!! Then we went to a strip center and did some crazy fun shopping!

    After that we went to the park where fencing practice was held. We were there early and Candice had her batons out and I had all of my guard stuff! We were very silly and I had a lot of fun! Then we practiced where I once again had a blast!!!!!  Then we had yummy food and went to my aunts and uncles house to crash and crash we did!


    Wednesday: Roller coasters and Tornadoes

    I wake up early and go poke Candice awake and ask her if she wants to go to Six Flags Arlington, she said it sounded like fun so we got the tickets online and drove to the park.
        We first went on the Titan which I loved! We had a lot of fun riding roller coasters all day cuz there were no lines at all!!!!
    My favorite ride was dr. freeze which i rode 5 times!!! and once Candice and I were the only people on the ride !!
    Candice said it was time to go and sadly we left the park. Just as we get to the car it starts storming we drive to the BBQ place and get dinner. During dinner I get a call from my aunt saying that there were tornadoes in the area and if I needed to we could crash at their house again tonight. We waited till the storm had moved a little ways away and we decided to go to cs instead of spending another day in Dallas. So we drove to CS and once we got there we immediately crashed!

    All in all it was a fun crazy adventure !!!


Tuesday, 26 May 2009

  • Long time no type :D

    Hi everyone I  am still alive and all that jazz! The last two weeks have been crazy busy and I am now in Pearland! Bri and Adam are still in italy (so not fair). I have found out that pearland is boring; there is nothing to do around here :(

    Bleh  on a great note i will be at practice this week :)

    side note: Blowing bubbles near a  gaggle of intoxicated friends who attempted to burst all of them using only karate moves is dangerous and one of the funniest things i have ever seen

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    • Member Since: 6/9/2005

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